LOVE ACTUALLY!!

Well the other day we all buddies were discussing about the difference between LOVE, Crush and infatuation!! Though we brainstormed on the topic for almost an hour coming up with our own stupid perceptions of the three concepts, it triggered my atom size brain into a series of fission reactions churning out my credence about this term called love!!

So what is love? I fail to understand the voracity of ideas that has conceptualized this stereotypical concept of love around us. Why is love synonymous with fidelity!! Why does love only mean being faithful to one person, being caring, getting married to that person, pump out kids and loving them and bringing them up in a perfect stereotypical environ which has to be a benchmark of a perfect couple !! Why is being adventurous after marriage such a taboo?? Getting attracted towards another colleague whom you can relate more than your wife, having a secret crush or a fantasy about your fiancés sister, feeling a sexual attraction towards your grown up daughter, imagining your favorite actress in place of your wife whilst making love ….. The list just goes on – but all just gets summated in one word TABOO!! And then you point out at the male hormone and say that all men are assholes of the worst order, completely insensitive and are born to cheat and sleep behind their partners back!! Why are mistresses looked upon as if they are some liability on this planet, why are their feelings inferior, outlawed and proscribed vis a vis a legal wife’s feelings for her husband !! Are they different in any biological or scientific way? Aren’t both beings as human have equal rights to feel and care for their love, crave for their partners physical presence. But society never accepts this fact!!

I remember the funny remark that we used to pass during singing our pledge in school everyday – All Indians are my Brothers and Sisters – except one. Even during those days of “we don’t need no education” and other radical philosophies burning in our minds, one thing was drilled straight down our heads by the society – that we have only one partner in our whole life – one wife, one spouse, one beau, only ONE!!

Why is the topic of sex such a taboo under all the religions and cultures around the world!! Why is being adventurous after marriage labeled as cheating and infidelity. Why are guys who have stronger harmonic urges who fulfill them are looked upon as dogs conceiving with any bitch they find on the road!! Why is it a sin to look at any other girl once you have a committed relationship; when since centuries nature itself in its abundance has left us to savage and devour its beauty and tranquility? Which other animal on this planet follow a one partner rule – in fact nature itself has imbibed on the concept of multiplication which we accurately term as the mating season which differs from animal to animal. Has the term social animal that has been denoted to humans, bound them to terms like infidelity? Renowned author Paulo Coelho also points out through his book The Zahir that the concept of one partner started being followed amongst tribes for the sake of FOOD. Until that time, it was perfectly natural for both the sexes who were both given equal importance to choose their own partners amongst the tribes, conceive children and then move on to other mates. Why is it then this tradition of one partner started centuries even before traces of the first religion were found, are being followed blindly even till date.

I admit that I am not driving my thoughts towards formation of a new society where anybody can just sleep with anyone of their choice; no I am not being so juvenile and illogical. But all I want is an answer as to why being in love with someone from the bottom of your heart, when you already have a committed partner in some other corner of the world, termed as CHEATING on your partner?? Is following your hearts voice a sin? Don’t we change our durables atleast once a year to keep up with the latest trends and technology; don’t we give up our old furniture and get in new furniture when they become outdated, so why can’t we just simply get bored with our respective partner? Ohh no, I think even mentioning the term bored is a sin in today’s world of humane societal values. Is dragging yourself with someone whom u despise from the bottom of your heart true humanity or is following your free will!!

I do agree that a world where just everyone starts ogling and running behind every other attractive person of the opposite sex sounds utterly chaotic, muddled, messy and disorganized. I am not writing to ask everyone to start adopting our ancestors tribal ways of living, all I am pointing out are disgorgement of archaic principles which are being simply followed for no rhyme or reason. All I am asking for is chucking out antiquated belief’s which are being driven erroneously on the concept of LOVE. Is this really love? I am sure this article would be heavily criticized by people who have always lived under the umbrella of these lackadaisical concepts, and I m equally sure that maximum readers would associate their own lives and relationships with the questions asked above.

Whichever the case, I cannot really conclude this topic with a firm finale. I am myself not sure what should be termed as RIGHT and what is WRONG, and moreover I am part of the same social system and hierarchy that I am commenting on. Though I would like to end this blog with a quote from a dear friend which I find very interesting – "love after love is possible and normal; lust after love is possible and normal" !!