Condom Mania

Have heard about condoms being ineffective, but today was the heights of all freak accidents ever!! Having met my gurl after 4 months, we were both eager to undress each other even before the bedroom door was locked.. I have been a durex loyal since my nascent stages of sexdom. But today due to Durex’s lack of market penetration led me buying a pack of KOHINOOR.

I entered the shop with a confident look. There was a maharashtrian auntie in shop talking about today’s YOUNG generation, so I hushed up the other assistant in the shop and asked him a pack of DUREX. He went behind the stacks of CERELAX and Bournvita, he looked from one drawer to another for a period which felt as long as eternity (I would have conceived and produced 10 kids in that period). He finally emerged from behind the hoard and whimpered like a puppy with my foot on his tail “sir, DUREX nahin hai, KamaSutra chalega?? Exasperated at his lack of confidentiality, I looked from one eye to the other, from the aunties to the shop owners who were giving me that sweet look. At my confident best, I asked him for a KamaSutra , this time the reply was faster , “Sir Kamasutra ka bada packet hai , 40 condoms wala” . I felt like telling him, that tho I mite be fanatical about catering culinary delicacies, but I m def not interested in making any condom curry!!

And so I came home with a shining new PINK Kohinoor packet, all ready to see my beloved in my arms. Quite frankly, I have always been condom-phobic and have never been able to use them as they r supposed to be used. First 15 mins were dedicared mot to foreplay, but surprisingly to wear that dirty fucking pink colored rubber. Till then, I was deadly sure about one thing, there is no condom as comfy as DUREX..

I finally stretched the darn thing enough so that I could wear it, and then turned to my priorities.

Tired of the same position every time, I decided to try something new that day, so I asked my lady love to turn for me.. and Jeepers Creepers.., within two minutes my p#$%^s was out and there was no condo on it… I tried searching on the bed and along its length, but no sir, couldn’t find even a single trace!! Then after searching for some time, like a lightning, the truth struck me…. The fucking rubber was stuck inside my damsel…. Who was now a damsel in distress – I could actually picture a scenario of a surgeon operating on my sweet lady to remove the damn thing out!!

Confused like a kid, I was totally perplexed regarding what to do? Then like a lightning, I jus threw out all my worries and dug my fingers inside and took the fucking rubber out … wallah !! It was finally out and safe ….

Moral of the STORY – never try twisting and turning while using a KOHINOOR condom !!

p.s – All the references preceded with a FUCKING Condom are deliberate derogatory remarks for the manufacturer of cheap , lower quality pink condoms !!